"Tweak," By Nic Sheff

Tweak: Growing up on Methamphetamines By Nic Sheff is the autobiographical story of compassionate, intelligent, and loving young man turned crazy and out of control by drugs. This book retells Nic's story of searching for sobriety in a way no one but an addict can. The raw and emotional voice in this story can real a reader in while at the same time make you feel absolutely hopeless and desperate.  It really makes you feel like you are in Nic's shoes, his position.   Amazingly, I was never against Nic as a person, only angry and annoyed at his character.  Throught the story I always found myself routing for the real un-scarred, not drugged Nic. The Nic that we readers can find in every confused and dangerous character in most books on our bookshelf.

Nic's voice in his memoir is incredible, and hard to describe.  What makes this voice unique is that he not only describes his dysfunctional train of thought on drugs, but his self loathing that he feels all the time.  For example, on page 20, Nic states "I was so scared of coming off the drugs.  It was like this horrible vicious cycle.  The more I used, the more I did things I was ashamed of, and the more I had to use so I had to never face that." The blunt stating of these horrible events makes them seem more surreal and harsh.  I think this is because of his straightforward tone and  the way he justifies his actions as normal.

Another aspect of Nic's writing style that makes it stand out is the raw emotion shown. In this book, you in no way needed to look between the lines to find a "hidden meaning," or depth of feeling.  Sheff obviously did not write this book for the emotionally unstable, because he left almost nothing out.  When reading, I had to put the book down for minutes at a time just to think about the gruesomeness of Nic's journey.  For example, "I am so tired.  This painful, aching tired.  I just want to sleep and be left alone-or maybe just die here.  The room is all dark and I'm sweating.  My breathing is strained.  For some reason my shirt is off, my ribs sticking through my skin-tracks up and down both arms..."Honestly, this vivid detail made me skip some parts of the book, scared of what I would read next.

Finally, the last part of Nic's voice that makes it so striking is its ability to put the reader in Nic's shoes.  Although most readers have not been through the ordeal which Nic struggled through, we have all had our own share of conflicts which can relate to Sheff's.  On page 109, Nic struggles with finding himself amidst all his usage: "Honestly, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. It's like there are seven candles lit in my stomach. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven candles burning and smoking-lit-seven flames of doubt, fear, sorrow, pain, waste, hopelessness, despair. They turn my insides black with soot and ash. There is something at the back of my eyes-a pressure building, building, building-hot like the flames of seven candles, which no amount of breath can extinguish...The fire eats away my flesh. The fire spreads. The fires runs through my veins. The fire courses beneath muscles-my tendons-the marrow of my bones. I can't keep living like this." These words really tear the reader apart.  I think all human beings can relate to Nic's words in at least one way.  At one point, we have all felt hopeless and depressed.  

 It is a part of our anatomy to rise above and overcome this great burden pulling us down. It is a part of our anatomy to fly, no matter how much weight we have on our wings.  This basic idea of survival is what intrigues readers throughout the book Tweak, by Nic Sheff.  In conclusion, Nic's memoir ends with the words: 

"This feels more like living than everything I've ever known in a long time.  I realize how hard tomorrow is going to be, but for now, I feel so thankful to be where I am.  I feel independent.  I feel like my own person."

"Going to War: Who Decides?" By Patricia Smith, Upfront Magazine

The article, "Going to War: Who Decides?" by Patricia Smith discusses the the debate over who has the authority to send American troops into battle in Syria. President Obama made the decision to give congress the responsibility to indicate whether or not we should go to war with Syria.  This surprised many, but it has been an issue in the past.  Who gets control of the army? Did Obama make the right decision?

The question arose when the Syrian government used sarin gas to harm and kill many of it's citizens in a Damascus suburb.  President Obama was put on the spot to lead the nation in what our position should be on the matter.  When President Obama gave up the decision, controversy arose at whether this helped or harmed the nation. The Declaration of war has been a sensitive topic for the US on previous years. As the article states, "Congress has formally declared war only five times... From Washington forward, presidents have engaged in military activities without declarations or authorizations,"This informs the reader that anything to do with "The formal declaration of war," is going to cause an argument, and make people choose sides.

I believe that to other countries, President Obama made the US as a nation seem indecisive and weak.  I think that the power to control the military should be handled by both the executive and legislative branches of government- as the Constitution states, not just the legislative branch. In other words, we need to find a balance of power. I believe this because our country is based off of the morals of freedom and free speech, and we do not want a dictatorship, where war can be declared unilaterally, but our nation does needs a bold leader who can work effectively under pressured conditions.

What other countries may think of as indecisive and weak, I believe is the strength of the US government setup.  As the article states, the framers of the constitution devised a system of checks and balances to keep one branch of government from overpowering the other. So while the president is the Commander in chief of the army and navy, Congress has the power to declare war.  In this way, power is balanced between branches of government. By handing all of his responsibility over to congress, President Obama was not maintaining this balance.  Matthew Spalding states "Presidents are supposed to protect their authority. They naturally want not to defer to congress, especially on national security."

Overall, I think that we as Americans need to find a balance between what the president's job is, and what congress' job is.  If we find that balance, we will be able to make decisions much more efficiently and easily.

"Crank" by Ellen Hopkins

"Life was good before I met the monster.
After, life was great.
At least for a little while."

The book that I have recently been reading, Crank, by Ellen Hopkins, is about a young woman, Kristina, who tries methamphetamine and gets addicted.  It is the tale of her struggle with drugs, but also the tale of her relationship with her father and her family.  Evidently, the main issue in this book is drug use and addiction.  But buried beneath that, another issue is identity. This heartbreaking tale demonstrates the damaging and far-reaching effects of using.

One obvious theme in this book is drugs and addiction.  Kristina's life greatly deteriorates when she starts taking methamphetamine, which leads to cocaine and alcohol.  When Kristina first takes meth, she writes:
"Fire!
Your nose ignites.
 Flameless kerosene.
 You want to cry.
Want to scream.
Get the urge to dance.
 You want to let go.
To ride the current.
  Sweeping you away."
These words confused me.  They seemed to advertise the amazing high Kristina felt while on drugs.  But in a few pages, Kristina says
"Two days.  Two nights.
No sleep, no food.
come down off the monster,
you
crash
real
hard."
This is when we realize this book does not romanticize drugs in the least.  It recalls the exact effects of drugs, puts them in a dark light, and most certainly makes the reader ponder meth's far-reaching effects.

Another big issue in this book is family relationships.  Most importantly, Kristina's relationship with her father, who is not a prime influence on Kristina.  In fact, it is his house where Kristina starts doing drugs and snorting meth.
"I mean there I was
snorting crank.
With my dad, boyfriend, and his other girlfriend.
Something majorly wrong with that picture."
 Kristina definately has a conscience.  She knows that what she's doing is damaging, but she cannot help her addicted self.  And with her father, a druggie and an alchoholic, there is no positive influence to wean Kristina off the drugs.

Finally, the more concealed issue in this book is identity. Kristina has a hidden identity- named Bree- that brings out her wild side- that is, snorting crank.
"I summon Bree when dreams no longer satisfy
when gentle clouds of monotony smother thunder
When Kristina cries."
I think Kristina uses Bree as a way to justify her outrageous behavoir while high.
"Bree is no imaginary playmate
No overactive pituary
No alter ego moving in
Hers is the face I wear
treading the riptide
fathomless oceans
where good girls drown."
I interpret this to mean that Bree goes above and beyond actions that "good girls" could only dream of. When reading this book, every time I read the name "Bree," on the page, I associated it with danger.

"Sometimes I want to curl up into a ball and roll away
Sometimes I want to die
I only know one thing that can make me laugh again.
Crank is a way of life
You can turn your back
But you can never really walk away."

In conclusion, the book in verse, "Crank," By Ellen Hopkins show the far-reaching and deteriorating effects of drugs.  This heartbreaking tale made me consider my own choices in life, other's choices, andwhere these decisions take us.  Most importantly, I pondered how they affect us in our future.